Ahhh, time for the New Year's Resolutions

Over the years I had grown to hate the habit of the New Year's resolution.  Mostly because I failed miserably in carrying out the resolutions.  So one year I made a resolution to make no resolution(s).  I loved that resolution!  And I stuck to it without a problem.  

I did make a resolution for 2005 that I also liked, it was to start drinking again.  (I had quit drinking several years before that, mostly because I am an all-or-nothing type of girl and moderation is not in my genetic make-up.) Connor had been diagnosed with autism in August of 2004, and I felt like a really needed a drink. Today I have a drink or two on special occasions and have found that I can be moderate about at least one thing.

I did make resolutions the years following, but let's just say my butt is STILL as large as some small towns. So I am sitting here on the eve of 2009, wondering about resolutions again. My stomach is in a knot. I feel compelled to promise myself so many things. Then I feel depressed knowing that I probably can't/won't follow through with whatever grand idea pops into my head. Time, demands, special needs all seem to conspire against my idealism.

As I write it dawns on me that the answer to my question is in the words I have written: failure, lack, big butt, knot, depressed, can't, won't, conspire. And there it is, clear as day, my resolution: cut myself some slack. Life isn't perfect, and neither am I. And this is going to be the year that I learn to accept myself as good enough. 

I wish you and yours a blessed 2009.