This is one of those days. It started out fine and really nothing terrible happened. Just one of those calls from school about my child melting down. And then it hit and left me with tears welling and breath catching. And the thought that went through my head was that I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! Why, I wondered, were the tears coming over something that happens so often? I think it is because it is so constant. And even with all of the interventions we have put in place currently and over the years it STILL happens. The calls STILL come. My child STILL has difficulty and stress. And I STILL have to find a way to help.
But truth be told, I am tired of fighting autism and aspergers. I want them to go away. Hey, Autism, let me ask a few questions: Can't I just have a day off? Why don't you go bother some evil person and leave the innocent kids alone? And, if I could ever get my hands around your neck Autism, it would not be pretty. Alas, autism doesn't respond to my crazy questions. Autism is not alive, it just is what it is. And I am what I am, an imperfect mother living in an imperfect world. And sometimes this imperfect world stinks big time.
5 comments:
I'm sorry for your bad day. I think we all have those days. It would be nice if autism did take a day off..just once in a while. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.
I'm sorry to hear about your bad day too. It gets hard for me at the end of the day when I realize all the things I didn't get to because of all the extra time it took me to get things done because of Samuel's autism. Progress can be very very slow and drawn out.
Hang in there, chin up!
Having two Autistic children,
I know those calls from school all too well....now I home school and I do not get those nasty phone calls from imperfect people who want my kids to be perfect.
I seriously do not know what they expect. They know the child has difficulties and they act as though they are some how suppose to behave like every other "normal" child in the room.
Well I have news for them, I have seen those kids in action as well as the teachers and there is nothing "normal" about them. It seems to me that everybody has problems.
My theory is that our little autistic people are behaving just the way they were constructed to behave. They are not bad, mine is being a stinker right now.
My kids got picked on and blamed for things they could not help. Much of Noddys problems were directly attributed to the constant chaos in the class room and lack of structure.
Once they lable our children, it is all down hill from there, they are nothing but targets for everybody.
These are not bad kids or bad parents. It is a lack of tolerance for anything different. God made some wonderful "name brand" souls when he made autistic people.
((((((HUGS)))) I had a moment like this I think it was last week...I just wanted to run away from autism...I was exhausted and at my wits end w/ it (here's my post if you wanna read http://soccermom46368.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-dont-have-it-in-meto-raise-special.html)...anyway I just wanted to offer you hugs and say I know how horrible it is to be so exhausted...I wish we got "sick" days...like work, 6 days a year where we could just say OK autism NOT TODAY!
Hi, I just wanted to say hi. I hope things are going okay for you all and you're having a nice summer! I've had an amazingly busy year and don't have nearly the time to blog that I want to anymore.
Post a Comment