Anyway, I have been thinking about time a lot lately as we approach the 5 year anniversary of Connor's diagnosis of Autism. Part of me feels amazed that 5 years have passed so quickly and part of me feels "it has only been five years?".
When we took our first steps on this new journey into autism, I was shell-shocked, scared to death, lost, heart-broken, guilty and angry. I had no idea what to expect, where to turn, how to help my son and how I would make it to the end of each day. But here I am, 5 years later, and the view from here is grand. Yes, I said grand. I know - I can't believe it either!
Somehow in the last few months, peace and acceptance found me. Usually summer is a hard time for me as I see all the "typical" children Connor's age doing all the "typical" activities that Connor has yet to master. But instead of feeling a sense of overwhelming sadness, I feel contentment, pride and joy. I see Connor as he is: funny, happy, smart, curious, talkative!, loving and a beautiful human being. I am okay with his "quirks" in public. Previously I would try to minimize his hand flaps or humming because I worried about what others would think of him. Now I think, tough if someone stares, that's their issue not mine.
I love my new state of mind and I am SURE that Connor can sense it too, don't you think? Our thoughts definitely affect our actions, even if we don't want them to. I wish for you today a breath of peace and contentment in your life, it truly is an amazing way to live.
