Will we ever get a break?

I am sure most parents feel that they will never get a break from the unending demands of parenthood.  I believe parents of special needs kids feel this more acutely.  For example, by the time a child is 6 years old, most parents can breathe a little more freely as their child is a little more independent and does not need to be watched like a  hawk. Alas, not for us.  

Autism does not give parents a break, ever.  Six years old does not mean that we can relax, even a tiny bit.  You must be on hyper-alert at all times.  This is downright exhausting.  I was talking with a mom the other day.  She said her 3 year old daughter loves to keep her infant busy.  Huh? Whoa.  A 3 year old keeping a baby busy?  She can trust her 3 year old in the presence of an infant?  Wait. A. Minute. Here.  

And then I feel ashamed.  Because I am jealous.  Incredibly jealous.  I may even be a little angry.  Okay a lot angry.  At these times I HATE autism.  I imagine autism as this freaky monster and then I see me all decked out in leather gear with huge, blazing guns.  The rest of this story is rate R, for violence.  Lots of violence. Then I realize the futility of this fantasy and the negative impact on my psyche. Afterall, negative thoughts breed bad karma, and we don't need any more of that here!

So when you are out and about and see a mother with a crazed look in her eye, and her child flipping out.  Stop and think of me.  Trade places with her in line.  Smile at her.  And please, most important of all, do not judge her.  As the saying goes, "there but for the grace of God go I" . . .